The Curse
Yahweh sipped the wine appreciatively.
“This is good. Thank you, Holy Ghost. And tell Gaia thank you for me too. She did an excellent job with these grapes.”
“I knew you would be pleased. And that reminds me, Yahweh. There is something I have been wanting to talk to you about. Gaia asked me to bring it up, too.”
Yahweh turned to look at his representative on the planet before he answered. He smiled at the Holy Ghost, but inwardly he sighed. What now?
“I think it is time to remove the curse.”
There was a pause. Yahweh’s thoughts churned and once again his impetuous words came rushing back to him. “The ground will be cursed because of you….” “Your desire shall be for the man and he shall rule over you…”
He saw that the Spirit was looking at him, waiting for a response.
He shrugged. “I suppose.” But before the Ghost could make a comment, he broke out, this time with heat. “They didn’t even ask me first! I warned them that it was the most dangerous substance in the world, and she rushed over to gobble it down like a frenzied, senseless boobkin, just because some slimy, created, traitorous, evil, serpent said she should.”
“I know.”
“I gave her life! I breathed into her and made her a living soul, and that’s how she treats my gift! And that bloody man – Adam – he didn’t ask me either.”
“I know. I know.”
“I told them they would die! And yeah, I cursed them. What do you expect? Stupid imbeciles. I should have turned them into monkeys and burned the Earth to the ground.”
The Ghost was nodding as he reached out and touched Yahweh’s arm. “Hey - we’re in this together. I was there, remember? Calm down.”
Yahweh responded to the gentle touch. The anger ebbed from his face. He glanced down at the glass in his hand, then tossed the last of the gleaming liquid down his throat. He turned his attention to what his Ghost was saying.
“Now, look. I understand that you had good reasons for what you did, Yahweh. You made this planet and you have a right to curse it. Nobody disputes that. But there is a season for everything and that season is over and done with. Gaia was just telling me that she needs to be able to grow crops lavishly without all the weeds.”
The Ghost stopped and eyed Yahweh for a moment. “You have to admit, she has been pretty patient. She said she will grow whatever you give her, but she wants her freedom. And that’s not the only problem.”
“What else?”
“It’s women. It’s been a long, long haul that they have been subject to men. And men! – you may not have noticed but it has gotten ridiculous on this planet. There seems to be a universal agreement that that extra appendage makes them some sort of demigod. Religion, government, and whole societies have exalted the man over women.”
“Well, why don’t the women just tell them to go screw themselves?”
“Well, you know, Yahweh, you wrote it down. You cursed them and then you announced it. It is a lot like slavery. You shouldn’t have advised slave-owners to treat their slaves well. It ended up backfiring because it was taken as an official endorsement.”
Yahweh looked thoughtful. It was true that he was often misunderstood. It was hard to deal with a society that lived such short lives. Of course, that was his fault too, he remembered.
“Okay, okay, I will lift it. But, let them ask me after this!”
“I’m sure they will. I’ll hang around and remind them that you are near and that you can hear them, and so can I. Hey! Do you want to go over and get some sushi from the coast of Japan?”
“You bet! Race you!”
“This is good. Thank you, Holy Ghost. And tell Gaia thank you for me too. She did an excellent job with these grapes.”
“I knew you would be pleased. And that reminds me, Yahweh. There is something I have been wanting to talk to you about. Gaia asked me to bring it up, too.”
Yahweh turned to look at his representative on the planet before he answered. He smiled at the Holy Ghost, but inwardly he sighed. What now?
“I think it is time to remove the curse.”
There was a pause. Yahweh’s thoughts churned and once again his impetuous words came rushing back to him. “The ground will be cursed because of you….” “Your desire shall be for the man and he shall rule over you…”
He saw that the Spirit was looking at him, waiting for a response.
He shrugged. “I suppose.” But before the Ghost could make a comment, he broke out, this time with heat. “They didn’t even ask me first! I warned them that it was the most dangerous substance in the world, and she rushed over to gobble it down like a frenzied, senseless boobkin, just because some slimy, created, traitorous, evil, serpent said she should.”
“I know.”
“I gave her life! I breathed into her and made her a living soul, and that’s how she treats my gift! And that bloody man – Adam – he didn’t ask me either.”
“I know. I know.”
“I told them they would die! And yeah, I cursed them. What do you expect? Stupid imbeciles. I should have turned them into monkeys and burned the Earth to the ground.”
The Ghost was nodding as he reached out and touched Yahweh’s arm. “Hey - we’re in this together. I was there, remember? Calm down.”
Yahweh responded to the gentle touch. The anger ebbed from his face. He glanced down at the glass in his hand, then tossed the last of the gleaming liquid down his throat. He turned his attention to what his Ghost was saying.
“Now, look. I understand that you had good reasons for what you did, Yahweh. You made this planet and you have a right to curse it. Nobody disputes that. But there is a season for everything and that season is over and done with. Gaia was just telling me that she needs to be able to grow crops lavishly without all the weeds.”
The Ghost stopped and eyed Yahweh for a moment. “You have to admit, she has been pretty patient. She said she will grow whatever you give her, but she wants her freedom. And that’s not the only problem.”
“What else?”
“It’s women. It’s been a long, long haul that they have been subject to men. And men! – you may not have noticed but it has gotten ridiculous on this planet. There seems to be a universal agreement that that extra appendage makes them some sort of demigod. Religion, government, and whole societies have exalted the man over women.”
“Well, why don’t the women just tell them to go screw themselves?”
“Well, you know, Yahweh, you wrote it down. You cursed them and then you announced it. It is a lot like slavery. You shouldn’t have advised slave-owners to treat their slaves well. It ended up backfiring because it was taken as an official endorsement.”
Yahweh looked thoughtful. It was true that he was often misunderstood. It was hard to deal with a society that lived such short lives. Of course, that was his fault too, he remembered.
“Okay, okay, I will lift it. But, let them ask me after this!”
“I’m sure they will. I’ll hang around and remind them that you are near and that you can hear them, and so can I. Hey! Do you want to go over and get some sushi from the coast of Japan?”
“You bet! Race you!”